Succeed at Work and in Life,
One Conversation at a Time
Fierce Conversations
Achieving Success at Work and in Life,
One Conversation at a Time
Author Susan Scott
Reviewed by Jean Caton, Business Life Coach, Speaker, Marketing Strategist
The conversation is the relationship. Think about this statement for a moment in context of your work or personal life. This simple phrase was the main take-away message for me when I read this book about a year ago. I recently attended a national association sponsored Leadership Conference that gave me the opportunity to learn more about fierce conversations as it was the subject of several hours of presentations by one of the keynote speakers.
In this bestselling book, Fierce Conversations, author, Susan Scott, explains how our conversations succeed or fail gradually, then suddenly, one conversation at a time. Yet you may resist making your conversations ‘fierce'. Many interpret this word as a negative adjective. However, the dictionary definition on which this book is based indicates fierce as “…robust, intense, strong, powerful, passionate, eager, and unbridled." Scott’s choice of this word intends to help us make our conversations authentic by ‘coming out from behind ourselves’ and having real conversations. If you want your work and family conversations to have better results this is a book you will want to read. Here are some powerful messages from the book:
§ Fierce conversations are authentic.
§ We fear making our conversations real. Yet, it is the unreal conversations that have the potential of doing the most harm in the long run.
§ The fundamental out come of most conversations is misunderstanding
§ Recognize everything you say creates an emotional wake…especially when you are a leader.
§ Get in touch with the intent of your conversation. If it is sinister, there will be a negative emotional wake regardless of your words.
§ Don’t begin a sentence with honestly; truthfully it makes others think you weren’t speaking the truth before.
§ No is not the problem. It is often the solution. It is the way you say "no" that gets you in trouble.
§ Don’t talk incessantly. If your conversations are filled with noise they will not be effective.
§ We are guaranteed to offend others when we present our impressions as THE truth.
§ Taking the ‘high road’, as an excuse for being polite or not tackling an issue is often an excuse for avoiding a difficult conversation.
Conversation Coaching Questions:
1. What are the goals of my conversations: Convince (others of my viewpoint), Control (the thoughts or behaviors of others), Cover up (truth, feelings), or Converse?
2. Do I talk ‘at’ others, is my intent impressing others, am I just waiting my turn to talk when I am silent or am I listening in a curious, open way?
3. What conversation am I avoiding, that if I had the (tough/authentic) conversation could change everything?
4. What part of me is failing to show up in my conversations that make them inauthentic?
If you want to be more successful in your relationships at home or work, don’t read this book - study it!
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© Copyright 2006 Jean Caton Article template by Rake Consulting
Jean Caton is a speaker, coach, and marketing strategist. She works with businesswomen in corporate America, Healthcare, and entrepreneurs to challenge and support them to attain their professional and personal goals and live a life full of achievement, self-acceptance, and serenity. Jean can be reached at: MyCoachJean@JeanCaton.com